Feels So Much Like Falling
by Pocky Whore
Summary: [SasuNaru] Naruto had been damned since the moment he left his already dead mothers womb and entered a world that would lead him to hate himself. [Self Mutilation, Yaoi, Mature Content.]
1. Chapter 1

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**Feels So Much Like Falling.  
By Pocky Whore**

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I watch the razor glide across my skin just above my wrist. I trail it slowly across, pushing slightly harder, slightly deeper with each inch of skin I cut. The blood spills quietly and runs down the side of my hand while some pools at the junction between my wrist and palm. Some of the sticky substance drips off the side of my hand and onto my pants, staining them instantly.Somehow the red looksso beautiful against the contrasting orange of my pants.I bring the blade back up to my wrist again and cut a line across the unmarred skin an inch or so above the first cut.

Dully I note the pain, but none of it seems to matter, all the pain is drown out by the twisted pleasure of it all.

The simple act of pain had stopped hurting long, long ago. The slight throb of my arm, starting at my finger and working it's way up to my elbow, was barely noticeable anymore. The pain that at one time had once seemed unbearable, but necessary, now somehow soothed me.

The first time I'd gathered the courage to drag a sharp object across my skin had ended up with me vowing I'd never do it again, but my wrist ached for the contact, for the pain. I'd started cutting when I was 12, but then I hadn't liked the feeling much, but now, 5 years later, that feeling ment everything to me. Slowly I became addicted, addicted tot he feeling, addicted to the high it gave me, even though every time I did it I ended up worse off then I'd started out. But it didn't matter, it never had.

Bleeding proves your alive. The blood flowing from my open veins reminds me this. I am alive. I'm here, and I'm real. This isn't some fictional dream that I'll just awaken from, and in some way that both relieves and upsets me. It's good to know I'm alive, to know I'm real, but at the same time some part of me wants it to be a dream. Something in me wants my whole fucked up existence to just be a dream that I'll wake up from and find myself in the loving arms of a mother comforting her child from a nightmare. But every ounce of pain, every pint of blood sullenly reminds me that this isn't a dream, it's reality.

And while bleeding proves my existence, proves that I'm alive, it also proves something else.

It proves I'm human.

In the stillness of my empty room, I almost laugh at the irony of it. I laugh, I cry, I hurt and I bleed just like everyone else, yet I'm different. As the first cut and the one after it slowly begin to heal and close up, I'm reminded of this. The blood that that once flowed freely from my wrist now did not. The only proof that it ever had, was a dull white scar left in it's place and the pungent odder of blood that lingers on my skin. With the pain and the blood gone, I find myself unsure if I'm human again. In an instant the blade is back against my skin, cutting a shallow small cut above the scars of the first two and below the many others littering the path up my arm. The small cut I'd just made heals quickly, barley leaving any scar at all.

My brow furrows in anger. My whole life, my whole existence had been damned from the day of my birth, from the very moment I'd left the security of my already dead mother's womb I had been cursed to a hellish life. At first I had thought I had done somthing to deserve the village's hate. I hade assumed I'd done somthing terrible to them, maybe even before my birth, if that was even possible.Hate was a familiar emotion to me, even at a very young age.

And then i found out. The cause? Within me, within this blood filled body of mine resides the Kyuubi, a fox, a demon, a monster. Inside me I hold the power to kill everyone, or save them. But I've been able to live. Even with people's heated glares upon my back and the slight shoves in the marketplace that occurred to often to be accidental, even then I could live, because I'm a survivor.

When I'd found out about the Kyubbi, about the trapped soul inside of me, I'd never felt so lost. Suddenly all the peices of the puzzle where clicking in my head. Every question, every doubt had been answered. I felt somehow dirty. For weeks on end, the sight of myself repulsed me, for I too, if only for a moment, beleived them when they told me I was a monster. Iruka had told me it wasn't my fault, he'd told me that I wasn't a monster, so I put on a happy smile and told him I beleived him. I'd humor him, I told him he was right, but always I had this doubt in the back of my head, telling me that it wasn't true, telling me that I _was_ the monster they accused me of being.

So from the day of my birth, and every day on, I'd been looked upon as a monster, a demon child, and in their spite, that is exactly what they'd created. All I wanted to do was please them. All of them. But all they expected of me was to be destructive, to be a monster, so who was I to decline them of it? If they so badly wanted a monster, I'd give them one. Painting the faces of the Hokage and other devlish pranks, they'd all been for one reason. I'd wanted to please the villagers. If they were going to hate me, then at least now they had a reason, a real reason, something I actually did with my own two hands and that in a way made their hate ok.

The Kyuubi is my own cross to bare, my dirty little secret. I'm hated, despised and spit on because of it. Because of the Kyuubi's existence, my own is damned. The selfish bastard won't even let me prove I'm alive, because in an instant he snatches away the blood filled pleasure I get from a simple slit against my wrist.

The Kyuubi has taken my whole world from me, and even in my weakessed moment, he won't let me have my fix.

I bring my shacking left hand back up to my scarred wrist and run my calloused fingers over the once smooth skin of the inside of my arm. I can feel it pulsing under my finger tips, yerning for the painful pleasue of my veins hollowing.Again, the sickly doubt in the back of my head telling me maybe I really am a monster festers to the surface. Am I human? Am I real? Even after the stupid fox heals me, will I still bleed? I pick up the razor again and violently slash it across my palm, digging deeply into the vein, but no matter how hard I press it, no matter how much i dig into the vein, it's not enough. I slash and cut all across the tender flesh of my wrist, and even as my skin is stained red, I continue to cut viciously. More. All I need is more.Maybe if I cut harder, deeper, maybe then I'll be human, maybe I won't heal after only a second or two. Finally I stop the assault on my arm and I hadn't realized that as I'd been doing it, I'd been crying.

I blinked back the tears and looked down on my slaughtered wrist. The skin was choppy and torn and blood swam from the large gash. Just looking at it made me wince, but I stared at it, waiting a minuet to see if the skin would patch itself up as it had done before. As the seconds ticked by and the wound still bled, I found myself smiling. I let myself be content with the pain and the persistent smell of blood, sighing happily under my breath at my victory over the fox. But my smile slowly shattered as the skin began to thread itself back together and mend, leaving a trail of blood that had dripped off the side of my hand and a large white line where the slice in my skin had been.

Grabbing the nearest thing close to me, I thrusted it into the wall, watching as the unlucky chair cracked and splintered before breaking from it's limbs. If I couldn't hurt myself, I'd hurt anything else.

Blindly I began tossing the contents of my room against the walls, delighted at the sound of breaking glass that echoed through my ears. I made my way to the kitchen and the living room, leaving a path of destruction behind me. Plates, cushions, chairs, nothing was safe from my wrath.

Somehow I found myself in the bathroom and the sight of my reflection repulsed me. My hair hung lifelessly and messily in front of my face and it stuck to the side of my face where the sweat had damped it down. I didn't even look like myself. My eyes were slightly red and puffy and more than a little blood shot. My top half was exposed, having rid myself of my shirt long ago. My orange pants hung lowly on my waist the white marks all across both arms stuck out like sore thumbs against my tanned skin. I looked like hell and I knew it, but it was oddly fitting.

Dried blood clung to the side of my arms and from where it had flown down my hands. I could feel it cacked beneath my fingernails and I wanted to gag. I couldn't look at myself anymore. One swift punch to the mirror distorted the image in the mirror and made the skin of my knuckles give way to the glass fragments and began to bleed. The person in the mirror wasn't me, I reminded myself.And with that I continued the distruction of the rest of my house where I had left off. And befrore long there wasn't left much to destroy. I glanced around the room seeking anything that had escaped my rage and my eyes landed on something near the window.

Sitting on a lone shelf in my living room was the only piece of untouched furniture. Contained in a wooden frame and covered with glass lay my treasured picture of Team 7. While both mine and Sasuke's faces were turned down in a glare, I could see the underlying happiness of the picture. A fake happiness I reminded myself. And the picture met the same fate as everything else in my house, a harsh kick into a wall, but this time I didn't rejoice in the sound of it breaking.

Instead I found myself crying and cursing myself dejectedly under my breath.

When the choked up sob's I was suppressing finally escaped my clenched throat, I found myself collapsing on the floor in the middle of the broken furniture. I clung to my knees and hid my face behind them, even though I knew no one was there. I could feel the hot droplets of tears on my face and even against the clothed part of my knee. I was completely hysterical. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. All I could concentrate on was the burning in my throat and the lack of air in my lungs, and the tears, the tears hurt more than the cuts ever had, because I'd just proven to myself how truly weak I am.

Slowly my tears dried up and I was crying dry tears, my chest still clutching and my lungs still thirsty. As my sob's died down gradually all that was left were my tired hiccups in the silence of my empty living room. I was sweating and my lifeless blond hair merged itself with my wet forehead. I shifted myself so that I was leaning against a wall, and I slung my head back, letting it thump dully against the hard wall behind me.

I shifted my numbed body, not taking heed nor caring about the glass that logged it's self in my hands and feet. I loosely laid my arm over my eyes, eyes that suddenly burned from dryness because of the absence of tears. I took slow even breaths, in and out, in and out, a pattern I'd know my whole life suddenly seemed so much harder than it'd been before.

As my breath returned to me I hummed quietly under my breath, letting the silence of the room be shattered. The hum was broken and choppy from my lack of breath, but it calmed me, and slowly, ever so slowly, I found myself drifting to sleep amongst the rubble of my living room.

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**TBC**

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**_You won't cry for my absence, I know -  
You forgot me long ago.  
Am I that unimportant...?  
Am I so insignificant...?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me? _ **

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?  
- Evanescence_

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**I'm not a huge fan of these types of fic's but I decided to write one and as I wrote it I began to fall in love with it. I do plan to continue this, and I do plan to make it SasuNaru as the story goes on. I know I have a bunch of other stories to update and I can't make and guarentee's , but I will try to update at least one of my stories every couple of weeks. Sorry but I've been super busy latley and I just can't seem to find the time to update, **

**Anyways I hope you liked it and will continue to read in the future. Remember, 10 reviews befor I update. And please take the time to leave me a decent review. I'd really appreciate it. Not that I mind the one's that say 'Nice story Update soon' I like those too, but I get so much more motivated by good reviews. One time a girl left me and AWSOME review and I updated twice just for her. So...  
R&R**

**Love  
Pocky Whore**


	2. Chapter 2

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**Feels So Much Like Falling**

**Chapter 2  
By PockyWhore**

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I woke the next morning to the stinging feeling of glass embedded into my palms and the sole's of my feet. I trailed my fingers over the glass and over the scars on my wrist, ghosting my touch over them. The fingers of my right hand came to rest on the chopped palm of my left hand, and one by one I pulled out the jagged pieces of glass from the flesh, paying no mind to the slight pain that came with each piece. Once all the glass was gone from my left hand I began work on the second. I took my time, extracting each fragment slowly, mesmerized by the sight of the red stained glass slipping from my hand.

When I finished both hands, I pulled out the glass from my feet. I pulled out the pieces with one quick pull, finding that my feet hurt much worse than my hands had.

I finished and stood up, making sure not to step on any glass left on the floor. I glanced around the living room, taking in the mess before sighing. This was going to take a while to clean. The living room by itself looked like a tornado had run through it, I could just imagine what the rest of the house looked like. My bet was that it was in a similar state. I looked over at the clock on the end table and sighed again.

Great, I'm late.

Although both Sasuke and I are Jounin and have been for over a year and Sakura a Chunin, we meet a couple of times a week to train together, for old time's sake, as Sakura likes to say. Although I have my suspicions that the reason has a little less to do with old times and a little more to do with Sasuke. Not that I cared much. I'd given up and gotten over Sakura years ago, but it still stung a bit when she treated me like trash and treated Sasuke like some type of God. Of course it doesn't bother me as much anymore, I'm used to it now.

Sometimes I question myself as to why I was so in love with her in the first place, but regardless of why, I'd fallen hard for her, and getting over her had defiantly taken some time.

I looked back over at the clock; it read 11:00 am. The appointed meeting time was 10:30 and I still need to take a shower. I sigh. Oh well. I'm already late, another half hour or so of waiting isn't going to kill them, although Sakura may kill me, but that's something I'll just have to deal with later.

The bathroom is almost untouched by my wrath from the previous night. Other than the broken mirror and a few scattered toiletries, it's mostly intact. Once I'm in the bathroom I bolt the door behind me, I've always been paranoid. Once I was sure the door was locked behind me I stripped off my tattered shirt and pants, leaving them in a pile to be picked up another day. I make my way over to the shower, eyeing my razor on the counter.

It's extremely tempting and just looking at it makes my skin ach for it, but I decide against it. Stepping into the shower, I turn on the water, letting it heat up before pulling the nozzle up for the shower to start. The hot water against me sizzles against my cold skin and it takes me a moment to adjust to the burning sensation. I closed my eyes, and relaxed under the spray.

I sift my finger through my hair, wishing I had some conditioner or even a little shampoo, but I've been short on cash, and even a shower itself was a luxury. I lathered the last of a bar of soap onto my hands and began to clean the blood and grim from my body and arms. Once I'd finished I sat under the spray for another moment before turning off the water altogether. Pushing back the curtains, I grabbed a towel from the stack and wrapped it along my torso. I took a second towel and rubbed at my wet locks until they were only slightly damp. I toss the second towel in the hamper and walk down the hall to my room.

After shuffling through my drawers for something clean, I pulled on a plain white tank top and a pair of my orange pants, the last clean pair I had. I sigh, which I seem to be doing a lot lately. I tug on my weapon holster and give myself a once over in the mirror, before I realize my mistake.

The white scars of my wrist stick out boldly against my contrasting skin. Up until recently the problem had always been solved by slinging on my orange jacket, by it'd been charred on our last mission, and I didn't own any others. I went back to my dresser and rummaged around for something, anything that would hide my mutilated arms from view. I pondered the idea of covering them with a jutsu, but I couldn't trust myself to maintain it during training. Finally in the very back of my dresser, I find a black long sleeved shirt. It's a bit tight, but the sleeves come all the way down to the fingers and have a hole to poke your thumb through.

I stair at the shirt in my hands for a moment before shrugging my shoulders and exchanging the first shirt for this one.

Glancing out the window, whose curtains weren't quite drawn all the way, allowing me to see out; I could see the slightly cloudy weather, which would make a good excuse for my long sleeved apparel. I glanced into my wall mirror one last time before deeming myself okay to leave and slipping on my sandals. My stomach growled as I walked past the kitchen and I was suddenly reminded that I hadn't eaten anything in at least a day. But I know quite well that like showers and shampoo, food is a luxury that I don't always have enough money to pay for.

I'm just about to leave when a rough knock comes from my front door. For a moment I stop breathing. I tell myself it's just my imagination, and I try to shack it off, but the knocking comes again, this time louder. I glance around my ruined apartment in slight fear that someone will see it as I run towards the door. I'm not entirely sure whether to be scared or overjoyed about the fact that someone has come to my apartment. I've never had any visitors before. Well Kakashi had stopped by once, but that was different.

The knocking on the door continued and I could see the knob moving as who ever was outside was trying to open the locked door. I opened the door just as another fist was about to connect with the wood, and I came face to face with Sasuke. We were inches away from each other and I found myself stumbling backwards a little to put some distance between us, and even then I couldn't stop the small blush from creeping on my face.

Sasuke on the other hand, look not at all bothered by their closeness.

"Your late." Is the first thing that leaves his mouth.

I grin up at him sheepishly and rub the back of my neck, "Yea, Sorry about that."

He just grunts in reply and takes a step backwards, allowing me to come out of my apartment and into the fresh, slightly damp air. I can see his gaze travel past me as he tries to look into my apartment, but I quickly close the door, not meaning to slam it. He raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't say anything. Sasuke was wearing his same old black shirt and white shorts as he usually does for training.

Very few times have I seen him in casual wear, but none of them will I forget. I roll my eyes at myself and start walking with Sasuke towards the training ground.

" So, did Sakura send you?" I question while looking up at the sky.

"No." was all he said.

This time it was my turn to raise an eyebrow at him, but it was clear that he wasn't going to say anymore, so I let it drop. He kept walking a few steps in front of me. I looked the other boy up and down grinning at the sudden realization that Sasuke and I were almost equal in height now. The silence between us is always uneasy and has been ever since we turned 15, but it doesn't bother me anymore, so we keep on walking. I palm my scars through the fabric out of habit, thanking God that today has been one of my better days.

Finally we reach our destination and I wait for the flash of pink to race by and pounce on our dear Sasuke, but it never happens. I look around, but I see no sign of the bubble gum haired girl. I look over at Sasuke but he just shrugs and falls into a fighting stance. The wind whips past us, sending his black locks waving and for a moment I can't take my eyes off of him. I blink remembering where I am and drop into a stance similar to his.

I smile at the though of having something living to take my frustrations out on, instead of just wood.

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**TBC**

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**When I said good morning,  
I was lying,  
I was truly thinking of,  
How I might quit waking up, **

**He pointed out how selfish,  
It would be kill myself,  
So I keep waking up.  
**_-Flyleaf_

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**_Important!_**

I have the next chapter all planned out and I was actually just going to mkae this chapter into one big one, but I've hit a snag. I need someone to write a fight scene for me. I'm terrible at fight scenes. All it has to be is their training fight. Nothing more. I'll add in all the thoughts and anything else I need, but I do need a fight scene or the next chapter may be delayed for a bit. Contact me on e-mail or in a review if you'd like to do it. It's just a regular training fight, just the action and jutsu's if you wish. Please let the scene be close to a page in lenghth.

Thanks for all the awsome reviews. Do you know how extreamly happy I am with the responce this story is getting. I love every single one of you who reviewed. Thank you so much.

Love,  
Pocky Whore


	3. Chapter 3

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**Feels so much like falling.**

**Chapter 3  
By PockyWhore**

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Both of us stood in our stance for a moment before we both leapt towards each other at the same time. Sasuke and I had an unspoken agreement that when we spared we'd leave it purely had to hand combat. We both tend to get too into the fight if we use jutsus and last time we'd fought like that both of use had nearly ended up in the hospital.

Sasuke ran towards me before falling back on his hands to kick upwards towards my face. My body reacted on its own and dodged his foot. I grabbed his ankle and threw him a few feet away from me before dropping back into my fighting stance. Sasuke picked himself up from the ground and ran towards me again. This time I waited for him to reach me instead of meeting him halfway.

He threw a punch towards me and I blocked it with my forearms before jabbing him in the shoulder and knocking his feet out from under him. He met the ground again but this time he was close enough to swing his legs and kick mine out from under me too.

I feel hard on my side and rolled about a foot. Before I even knew what hit me Sasuke was pinning me to the ground, claiming his victory. I growled under my breath and attempted to throw him off of me but he only pushed me further into the ground. If I could only get his wrists o let up then I could flip us, but he wasn't letting go or loosening his grip on me.

I struggled a little more before realizing that I'd defiantly lost. It pissed me off, but I beat him just about as much as he beats me so I'm not completely bothered by it. I jerked my hands one last time hoping maybe I could break free but it was not use.

"I give up."

Usually I'd be met with a smirk or some type of smart remark but he didn't say anything.

I looked up at him he was still on top of me and he was staring at the ground next to me. I gave him a confused look but he couldn't see it because his eyes were else where. I followed his gaze and blinked.

The material of my shirt where my thumbs could poke threw had ripped upwards and left my right wrist exposed slightly. The broken sleeve was pushed up just enough to see too shallow scars above my wrist. I snapped my head back up towards Sasuke and our eyes met. I couldn't see anything in his eyes. He looked as if he'd just taken a walk down the street or gone to the grocery store, not as if he'd just discover one of my deepest secrets.

I was glad that it had been my right wrist he'd seen. The cuts on my left were much deeper and much more noticeable, even being just scares.

I felt his grip on me slacken and I yanked myself away from him. He immediately grabbed me again and I winced when he shoved me to the ground again and my head smacked into it.

I looked back up at him and he was staring at me again. I just glared back at him all the while trying to get myself free from him. The cuts from last night had healed into scars long ago thanks to the Kyuubi, but they were still slightly tender and it stung as Sasuke gripped my hands.

Minuets went by and Sasuke wouldn't let me move or look away from him, but still he didn't say anything, still he looked indifferent, but I could feel in his eyes that he was angry. Or maybe he was scared, but Uchiha's aren't scared of anything.

"Say something." I said, but he didn't talk nor did he look away.

I waited.

"If your not going to say something then let me go." For a moment I though he was going to, but he just held onto me tighter and I yelped when he squeezed the tender bruise on my left wrist.

His eyes left mine and traveled to my still covered left hand. He released my right hand and used both of his hands to try and pull up my sleeve, but as soon as he let go I pushed him off of me. I heard him grunt as he hit the ground and I stood up and started to walk away. In the blink of an eye he was in front of me again blocking me path.

"Sasuke _move_."

"No." It was the first thing he'd said since the fight had started and his voice was sharp and made me flinch away from him. .

I sighed.

It figures. It figures Sasuke would be the one to find out. And it figures that he'd react this way.

"Sasuke, Please I'm not in the mood for this."

He grabbed my wrist again and this time I let him. He wasn't going to leave it be anyways. He folded my right sleeve up to the elbow and examined my arm. His eyes betrayed nothing and he pressed lightly on the scars but they didn't hurt. Not those ones. His eyes slid suspiciously to my left arm and he reached out towards it but I pulled away again.

I could hear the Kyuubi in my head laughing at me and I felt dizzy.

The Kyuubi was screaming at me, yet he wasn't saying anything and all I could hear was the noise and I couldn't think. My head was buzzing and all of a sudden I felt the scars on my left hand reopen and I could feel the blood oozing under my sleeves and running down my hands.

I brought my palms up to my ears and tried to block out the Kyuubi's howling but I couldn't. There was so much blood. I could feel it on my neck now from where my arms had brushed against it. Fresh cuts had never bled like this let alone scared ones, and the Kyuubi's voice was just confusing me more. Was he howling in pain? In fear? In happiness?

I pressed my hands harder against my ears but the sound got louder and louder. I could smell the blood. I could feel and taste the rain.

When had it started raining?

I can feel myself shacking and my head throbbing and my fingers twitching.

Someone pressed a hand against my shoulder and even though I knew it was Sasuke I couldn't help but scream. I screamed and sobbed at the same time. I felt sick. So sick. Why did my how body hurt? Why was the Kyuubi barking at me? What was he saying? I feel to my knees and kept my eyes clamped shut. I felt so dizzy even though my eyes weren't open. I felt so tired even though I'd just woken up.

I could hear Sasuke too, but he was lost in the noise.

I passed out.

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Naruto's been acting strange. Nothing completely noticeable, but none the less it's there. I could feel it as we sparred. He's distracted. A fight between us that would usually last an hour was cut down to less than 10 minuets before I pinned him. He fought me tooth and nail I might add, but it seemed like he was trying less and more at the same time. Naruto is good. I'm not going to deny it. Pinning him is an accomplishment in itself. So I smirked down at him even though I knew he couldn't see, what with his eyes being closed and all.

I was about to release him. He'd already admitted his loss and wasn't even struggling anymore. I was about to let go of his wrists, stand up and possibly walk away. I wish I had. I wish I had just not thought twice about Naruto's torn shirt sleeve. I wish I hadn't inspected it further because someway somehow I felt bad for ripping it. I mean besides the fact that it looks so good on him, being all tight and all, I knew he didn't have the money to replace it.

I wish I had just brushed it off. What I saw I never wanted to see. Especially littering Naruto's body.

I couldn't believe it. Any of it really. I've known for a while that Naruto is hurting. Maybe I've known all along, but I never knew it ran this deep. Deep enough that he'd hurt himself like this. But I knew what it was like. I did it once. Only once. And I loved it. And that scared me so I had stopped.

I tore my eyes away from the scars and looked at Naruto. I met his eyes. He looked scared. So completely scared. And he panicked. He tried to push away or run away but I wasn't going to let him. We needed to talk about this and I wasn't going to do it until he calmed down.

Until I calmed down.

"Say something." He said.

He sounded so confident. I couldn't say anything back. I knew I wouldn't sound half as confident as he did. How could he sound so unafraid when in his eyes I could tell he wanted so badly to run away? But then again Naruto has always been good at hiding things.

He said something again but I didn't hear him. He tried to struggle again and I pressed down harder. He flinched. My eyes shot to his left wrist. Naruto's right handed. His left would be so much easier to cut.

I immediately reached for his left wrist but he knocked me down once he had enough leverage. I caught myself and bolted after him. He wasn't going to get away from me that easily.

"Sasuke _move_."

"No." I said.

I was angry. Angrier than I've been in ages. Naruto acted as if it was no big deal. It made me angry. Why won't he just talk to me. Why does he keep trying to run from me? Why is he so scared? It made me angry that he was scared of me.

"Sasuke, Please I'm not in the mood for this."

As If I actually cared. Did he think _I_ was in the mood for this? I ask you when is a person _ever_ in the mood to find out their best friend hurts themselves. I hadn't even _expected_ this. I wasn't ready to talk to him about this, but I had to be.

I had to be.

I grabbed his right wrist and examined the cuts. I noticed that they weren't very deep and there weren't very many of them. But they were there none the less. Ugly white scares across the inside of his wrist, and no matter how small or how few of them there were, they were still there. My eyes slid to his left wrist. I didn't want to see it, but I knew I had to. I reached towards his arms but he yanked away from me and took a step back

His eyes glazed over and his whole body appeared as if it was being held up my puppet strings. His arms were limp at his side and for a moment I almost mistook the blood running down his fingers from something else. I didn't know what but I wanted it to be anything other than blood. But I knew it wasn't. The blood ran down his fingers and fell in drips down to the grass leaving crimson streaks on his hands and in the grass.

The dark clouds that had been hovering over the training grounds for quite some time decided to suddenly give way and let out a clap of thunder before the rain tumbled from the sky.

He's shacking now and he looks like a little kid with no one to comfort him. His hands shoot up to his ears all the while his whole body just keeps shacking. The blood kept oozing and was now spilling from his wrists against his neck and face. It was the most horrible sight that I have seen since I was 7. His glazed eyes are now clamped shut and I wonder if he's aware if that he keeps whispering 'Shut up.' Over and over again.

I wonder if he's really aware of anything anymore.

I reached out to him and grabbed his shoulders but he started to scream. He was screaming and screaming so loud, so terribly loud as if he was dieing. I was scared that maybe he was. He fell to his knees still pressing his palms to his ears the whole time.

"NARUTO" I'm screaming too and I know it but I'm so scared. So completely and utterly scared.

And I know he can't hear me over the thunder and his own screams of pain.

His glazed blue eyes opened again and I could see the tears collecting in them and mixing with the rain water that was now streaking down his face. I wanted so badly to hold him or smack some sense into him, but I was scared to touch him.

And then he went limp as if a puppet master had cut the strings from his favorite doll.

I screamed his name and rushed to his side on the ground. His hair was soaked and stuck out in all directions while sticking to his damp face. His ripped shirt clung to him and mud was splashed against his face and clothes. My eyes caught on the blood still oozing from his wrists and I unwrapped the cloth from around my legs and bandaged his arms quickly. When I saw Naruto's left wrist I almost threw up. The blood was so red and the cuts so deep.

I picked Naruto up from the ground and held him to my chest. He felt so cold, so completely lifeless.

I clutched his limp body to me and took off towards to Hokage's Tower. The bandages on his arm where already stained and I knew that if the bleeding didn't stop soon that he'd bleed to death or need a blood transfusion. I raced through the village and the cold air rushing through my lungs stung so badly but I couldn't stop. I had to get Naruto to Tsunade.

I burst through the doors to her office, shacking off the ANBU that tried to stop me from entering. She sat up quickly when I came in the room and had it been a different time I would have scolded her for sleeping on the job, but now was no time. As soon as she saw Naruto she was up and beside me before I could even take a step towards her. Her eyes were so serious and she looked me in the eye and took off running.

I followed her lead and rushed through the corridors until we were near the hospital section of the tower. Somewhere along the way Shizune had met up with us and before I even knew what was going on Naruto was whisked away from me and past the double doors of the hospital room. I sat outside the room feeling lost and confused.

Naruto was going to be alright right?

_Right?_

**-**

**-**

**TBC**

-

-

* * *

I did the fight scene. It was short and not that descriptive, but it's there. Ugh. 

But in other news I got my first real flame the other day.  
I was so excited.  
It was an actually **real** flame. For a moment I was upset, but then it was gone. It was the weirdest feeling. I should have felt so much angryer than I did. But I didn't. Want to read the falme?  
Mkay.

**Flame:**  
_Aren't that great, okay? So stop with the 'I'm so wonderful I can help you with your stories; shit, because it's annoying.  
__Also, it's bloody pathetic that you force people to review your shit stories before they're updated. Wanna know one sure sign of a bad author? THAT._  
_If you were a true writer, you wouldn't need reveiws to update. You would WANT them, but not NEED them. You would feel the words flowing inside of you and be able to put them down all by your wittle self. Brat._

**My responce-**  
_I have never said my stories were great. I don't think they're wonderful. I don't force people to review my stories. I write because I like it. I write because I want to. I ask for reviews if people want my story to be updated faster. I will update a story with or without reviews, but I had a busy life and I'm not going to just stop what I'm doing and update for people who don't want to read it. I'd update evetually. Reviews just give me a jum start and encourage me. My storys are shit? I'm sorry you feel that way, but I am only 14 years old and I have plenty of room for improvment._


End file.
